It’s Valentine’s Day, and if you’re male then you’re probably looking for a gift that best communicates those three little words: I'm really sorry.
Because let’s face it: buying the perfect Valentine’s Day isn’t easy. It has to give the traditional Valentine’s Day message (“I am helping to keep Hallmark in business”), yet still be unique enough to make your loved one feel special.
That pretty much rules out flowers and chocolates (although she’ll happily finish off the box while you’re in the doghouse), and even jewellery can be a mistake—especially when you get your credit card bill.
And don’t even think about buying her an appliance. Not only will she hate you for buying something so impersonal, she’ll hate the way it clutters up the house. (And you will too, because it will be a constant reminder of how badly you screwed up.)
So what can you give your Valentine that’s personal, relatively inexpensive and won’t clutter up the house?
Here’s an idea: Forget about giving her something, and take something away instead.
No, I don’t mean taking that necklace back to the jeweller. (As if you’d be able to find the receipt!) I mean getting rid of some of the stuff that’s been lying around the place since… well, for as long as you’ve been together.
How about all those bits of timber in the back yard you’ve been threatening to turn into everything from bookshelves to an aviary? She knows you’ll never actually use it (the fact you don’t own a single power tool is a bit of a giveaway), so why not just get rid of it?
And then there’s that old couch. I know you’ve had it since uni and it holds a lot memories (not to mention pizza stains). But when even your dog refuses to sit on it, it needs to go.
There’s probably lots of other stuff you can get rid of as well: boxes for appliances you no longer own (she threw away your last Valentine’s Day present, remember?), the pile of lawn clippings that’s so high you can ski on it in winter, and all those attempts a DIY that ended up DOA.
But don’t waste the day carting it all away yourself. Get in touch with Brizzy Rubbish Removals and let them do it all for you so you can get on with more important things.
Like finding the receipt for that vacuum cleaner before she sees it.